Epic Failures


The other week Dana saw a recipe in one of her favorite gossip magazines for Salisbury Steak. The pictures looked great and I figured lets try it.  I have never tried to make Salisbury steak, so I figured a recipe in a celebrity gossip magazine would be a great start, right? Haha.  The fact that there was a B-list celebrity on the cover was probably where the whole thing started to spiral into an epic failure.  I should have turned around there.

Salisbury Steaks - Epic Failure

Like I said, the pictures looked great, so it could not possibly be a bad recipe, right?  It was a simple and easy recipe. Maybe too simple. Overall, the steaks were hockey pucks that were drier than the desert. The sauce was thin and runny. It was a pretty bad meal.  My worst in a long time.  It was quite embarrassing.  However, not too embarrassing that I can’t share it with you guys.  Haha.

Normally I post the recipe of an epic failure, but this one was so bad that I don’t want to repeat it. I don’t want to link to the original either as I don’t want people mistakenly making it. It was bad! Not even my dog would eat it. Although the recipe will not be included, I will give a brief description of the ingredients and process. Maybe you guys will see an error in the process that could possibly improve this.

Epic Failure – Salisbury Steaks

It all started with the formation of the steaks.  The steaks were formed with a mixture of wet (1 egg, 1/2 grated onion, 1 tbs dijon mustard) and dry ingredients (salt, pepper, garlic powder) folded in to a pound of ground beef.

The mix-ins

The mixture is lightly mixed and formed into patties. Once the patties were formed they were browned in a skillet over medium/high heat. The meat is cooked to about medium and then removed to a plate to rest while the onions are browned.

The Patties

In the same pan as the meat was cooked, sliced onions are added. The onions are browned and then garlic cloves are added and cooked for a couple more minutes.


Then 3 cups of beef broth are added to a pan and then simmered for 5 minutes. Then you add a cornstarch (1 tbs) slurry to the pan.

The onions

Finally you add the patties back to the pan and simmer for 10 more minutes.

Back into the Pan

Serve. In my own review of the recipe, I think that the meat needed a little more love in the sauce to absorb the onion and beefy goodness. 10 minutes was just not enough.  I also think that 1 tbs of cornstarch for 3 cups of broth is a little less than what was needed.  Finally I think that the steaks needed more than just an egg and a little Dijon mustard.  Maybe a little breadcrumbs to make them more like meatloaf and less like hockey equipment.

What do you guys think?

Well I know that I will not be searching through any of Dana’s Gossip Magazines for recipes.  It was a simple recipe that was horrible.  It was bad.  We ended up getting take-out.  Yeah, Take-out.

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